Friday 20 May 2011

Today I want to laugh at myself

and go aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I just stepped outside of where I work, to go to my local coffee shop to be greeted by two guys I regularly chat to. On the way over, though it literally 5 seconds walk from my work entrance, I think it was the air that hit me; a fresh wind which feels almost like a hug or a pair of hands gliding through your hair and massaging your head. It is like a wave reminder of, why was one so stressed earlier? And so I wish to laugh, and giggle because I will patronise myself in the sense of it was so silly. To be greeted by an unfamiliar work place who looked so confused by my, angst. I love how alien to one means the world to another-it becomes so simple for them in a way for their outside view on our lives and visa versa. I find that the beauty in everyone's problems, most of the time of course. One can be quick to smile at other goings on, though what amazes me most of all in a sense is that from the people you know the least sometimes you get the most too.

On my arrival in the coffee shop, I am greeted by the lovely hello's and how are ya's. Before I open my mouth my regular order has been called out for me and followed by a wink, I know it will be for free. We all chat over our week, yet whilst chatting glances are made. I suppose it is these glances that remind me in how to carry myself, in how to hold myself too in the way of adjusting my mind. Yes, It sounds a little crazy but I think that when one feels a bit unsure about things a smile from someone else or the gesture of free coffee kind of kicks starts you back into your known happy. You remember that all is out there to be played with, for you to make and shape for yourself. Our emotions build at times when things don't seem to be working out how we wish and suddenly we become overwhelmed by all the options in front of us, or at least the 'options' we might even feel limited by. Whether people realise they do it or not, daily interaction with others provides a comfort in knowing we all exist together. I don't see it as a distraction from what really is going on, but perhaps a simple smile encourages realisation to laugh at self. My mental check list becomes a little clearer in realising that although there are things to be sorted, the list of 'is everything ok' should really be a action plan into sorting each point out. Problems then end up becoming more practical in a sense, I think we just need a little bit of time to process the emotions that build up with them. In this case, it was a free coffee and cheesecake.

I think people see it in your face, sometimes we just know with people when something isn't quite right. I quite like how I think within most we all hold some desire in wishing to help, in wishing to ease the journey in a sense. Whether it's someone we know or not the human instinct to care is quite amazing-we strive to provide the best for others. Of course the other argument is that some strive in order to seek reward, whether that be attention or anything else; we have to accept that what we receive is because there are other intentions behind. Regardless of that fact though, if it makes a difference to your day then embrace it. I'm sure there is no harm in light admirability...

I think I just made up a new word there...

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