Death in writing

'Disease isn't some great, ennobling experience, as anyone who's ever rocked a paper gown knows. But it really can give a person a buttload of clarity. Those of us who have signed Do Not Resuscitate forms can tell you – being scared crapless about dying is only part of the story. Being made acutely aware of the awesomeness of living is the other...

And as is inevitably the case, when we got down to the last day, our dwindling time became increasingly bittersweet. We ate ice cream cones, savoring them until they dripped down our arms. We took a million pictures of our last sunset. We said goodbye. That's how it is at the end – whether it's a trip greatly enjoyed or a life well lived. The pleasure of being there is infused with the sadness of leaving. We look back over a shoulder one last time, hoping to hang on to the moment forever. And we want to keep saying, again and again and again, enough to last to the end of the lifetimes we won't be there to share, what Miller wrote in his last message to his family and the world. "I loved you deeply, I loved you, I loved you, I loved you." ' 

We are all fighting, all falling and all pacing through. Sometimes I wish I could put my hand through someones skull, reach into their brain and discover who they really are. To do that to everyone I meet. We all have our plans and there never seems enough time to complete our goals. We always make lists, and fail them. Should we keep making lists to disappoint or should we just get better at ticking them off? I think there is an obvious answer there, and we could all do with a kick in the arse to complete them. There are always various reasons why the particulars don't become complete, subjects which are out of our hands and avoid any control by self to maintain them. We can't always control the external forces. Change will always exist whether we planned for it or not. I think it easier to let those changes in, otherwise there will always be a battle with the world but worst of all with ourselves. Of course it is easier to accept on instance but we don't really ever get to that particular place, of common ground without the beautiful ugly pattern journey towards it.

I believe I am saying please show regard in ways you can and know, to those around you, even if they are strangers-we forget they aren't strangers to some. Everyone has their connections, their place. A world different to one should not be a threat to others, in an ideal world. We know we should just laugh and enjoy. The sun shines for a reason, but we read into it way too much. It takes time to get there. For me personally a fairly accurate way to represent my point of feeling sometimes is in film, when watching a film the world represented it seems much more of the ideal and the just life, the wouldn't that be great scenario. Trailers are a perfect example. The music, sound, imagery, the characters, the colours...They are all wonderful and when the cinema roars with pow the energy it fills the room and yourself with is incredible. You can feel the passion from the filmmakers involved into their creation of story. Everyday is about story and we write our own.