I know this sounds ridiculous to most, and I suppose some would say I sound like a hippy but I really am in love with the world.
Whether it be a smile on someones face, the gesture of something given for free, I kind of feel at peace. I think I exhaust myself, my blog only reflects one does a lot of thinking-I don't know whether most others spend a lot of time doing also, I suppose I find some sort of company with my thoughts. I love stories, I love hearing stories-one of my favourite childhood memories involves being told stories, sharing them with others and hearing the experiences of those linked to their tales. In a sense, I feel like I could quite happily shut myself in my flat for a week and entertain myself quite happily. Sure, it would have to contain all my belongings existing now to pre-occupy self (I can understand now when writers go to isolation camps to concentrate on their writing), though I feel that by shutting one off the rest of the world becomes appreciated more.
I think that is why writing feels so natural to me, you end up creating your own world and through writing you begin to discover the real one in front of you too. All the more you realise more about yourself and what there is to achieve. It is all out there to achieve, though life is about getting out there and exploring the ways to make it happen. I suppose it's like coffee, you get the jitters from having too much (or even one cup for some) but it gives you fuel to function your day. I feel like that without coffee. The words 'grabbing life by the balls' or more extreme 'fucking the world' seems to be the relevant suggestion. I want to get out there and discover. All I wish as well is for everyone to do so in their own way too. To come home every night and smile, to laugh-people notice it in the tone of your voice. It feels like love, for the world and what I have discovered so far. It all forms your story.
Humans are celebratory creatures, any excuse for a party and we are there. I think its wonderful. The thing is, we tend to source an excuse to celebrate something. I feel in Britain's most recent it would have been the Royal Wedding. The uniting of two people, shared with all the others. People partied, even in the streets. I think though it seems ridiculous for a Royal affair to allow such marvelous flamboyancies. Shouldn't we be able to marvel in success and happy feeling regardless?
Are people scared of disruptions?...
I think dancing is one of the ways of expressing how our body motions. With dancing comes music, a huge passion of mine and all the more am I impressed by human ability to create and show more. Music comes from feelings, otherwise there would be no lyrics or motions through a instrumental song. Hearing the music demonstrates how we feel it inside and patterns how we move. I do wonder whether if one wasn't happy, would we not move? Would we not dance to what we hear? I find love in music, when I see DJ's play you can see it in their face how they enjoy creating the atmosphere. There is a reason to why they have created the sounds. They put their heart into it and tell a story. I think it why 'nights out' become addictive. They become a time where we allow ourselves to truly be...we want to shake about, laugh and smile. We build it up, it builds throughout the night and most of the time we dance and reflect our enjoyment. I am sure that is why I tend to battle with myself throughout a night, I try not to think of the end-who would want such enjoyment to disappear?! I always make sure to take a few moments to look around and observe what other people are doing. I wonder whether they think the same as me and recognise the time we have together as a celebration of life. Without the urgency to dance, to not feel a song I wouldn't be able to understand. Though one must know that when the music ends, the stories only carry on in different ways and we are the people who make them.
On my night out in Berlin, the group of friends I were with. We turned and looked around the club before we left, and said goodbye. The night started dark and became light, I have never before danced through night time to day and it truly was glorious. As the sun filled the room and dark shadows became faces-to recognise a numerous amount of people sharing the same feeling of wow this is great becomes a historic moment for all. For we are here to enjoy and make fun, the ups and downs form us and I think that is the beauty in life. Without one, we wouldn't have another. I know too well that I don't think I would be as happy as I am now without having felt a lot less positive about getting out there... We have to put ourselves out there, otherwise we will be forgotten.