Sunday, 8 May 2011

Our own enemies

One could say our biggest killers are ourselves. We become our own enemy. Essentially one sets self's limitations but on a brighter scale, one sets self's extension.

We drive ourselves nuts, with our brains. It all becomes a little tedious at times. We know full well that if another person displayed emotions of frustration or anxiety or confusion e.t.c. in front of us we would want to calm them down. So why can't we always do that for ourselves?

What will it take for a person to completely shut themselves off from everything? At what point do reach in order to accept we need to ask for help, or accept our capabilities also?

Over the weekend, lets say I have been trying to work on some projects. Its scary when you try to apply yourself to something when you have a great grand idea and picture in your head of how things could turn out but whilst making ideas come into reality one can become faced with a vision of, oh dear. Does all I imagine have a true potential to turn out how I wish so? We hold so many desires, hopes and dreams and can put so much energy into them, I am face with what would be more disarming. To be able to say you have tried but failed during the process or to establish at the start the uncertainty of how all may turn out?

I tend to flow by, you don't know without trying, and I have decided it is the risk I shall take. For along the way I will experience and learn and in ways that is a better path to take then taking none at all. I think the greatest fear attached to it all is falling into a trap, or making the trap feel bigger by discovering the time scale we have to accept. I suppose the time scale in my case is the only limitation really-if I don't use the time efficiently enough!

Self control is adamant and whilst harbouring the tendency to become easily distracted or at least finding it hard to concentrate sometimes, again I become my own limitation. A battle with self could kill and in this case the 'projects'. I feel this is where asking for help is necessary and of course as stubborn as we all are, a very hard part too. One can only smile at self for silly ways as we know we could be setting ourselves back by getting all the more worked up by it all. 

I mean, how long can we keep kidding ourselves for? Where does the pattern come from. I think the psychology in it all is we hate to be disappointed, and worst of all to feel this about ourselves. Why should something feel so hard to achieve but so feel so right in our minds in where we wish to take our goals. They say it's not what you know but who you know, one can only watch this space...

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