Saturday 28 May 2011

Perfect timing for a book

Recently I have began reading a book. It's funny how you have something in your hands for ages but only do you start using it, reading it, when you begin to take note of what's in front of you.

I found some poignant quotes, some of which I agree massively with and some of which I find a little extreme and very hard to empathise with, yet I know that is just me and my being at this current time. I think it necessary to list the quotes, I'm sure I will build discussion relating to some of them in the near future.
'Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven't had that what have you had?...What one loses one loses, make no mistake about that.. The right time is any time that one is still so lucky as to have...Live!'
1903. Henry James The Ambassadors.
Words such as these I find are always good to return to when one is in doubt, angst, worry about something. I like to be reminded as one gets a bit lost sometimes and overwhelmed with many choice ahead. The most apparent thing I have realised recently is that, well, it is all in my hands. The book I read demonstrates how everything is about choice, and that what we feel isn't just because, it is because we choose to feel it. I suppose that without realising it, we feel a particular emotion in order to get a result. This I feel is when I talk and think about moments when I have only realised what was happening within myself, after particular choices or changes have occurred. The answer sometimes is always so simple, so 'in your face' at the time. I think most just hold onto a lot of stress and angst at the same time so the possible and clear decision becomes very, very clouded. 

I find myself in a large position of choice right now. Whether to go with what feels right, though scared about the outcome. Too much weighing back and forth is occurring right now for me and I think that is the biggest problem. Where is all the stress coming from? I know I said I wouldn't talk in riddles but here I feel best to express without mentioning true events, just in case... I feel like one answer is so clear yet all the fear is linked to it as well. But why?! Why not just go for it? I wonder how long one, or people in general can believe in patience. Yo-Yo-ing I can't cope with anymore. But the ultimate argument is-am I just creating this all myself? As the book says, we chose how we feel and it just doesn't happen. Part of me just wants to be, so perhaps am I causing all self angst in order to drive self to go for what I want, for what I want to achieve-in the form of self motivation. Though I fear that is just the thing, am I thinking clearly enough to make the right decision. What if it is made and consequences show it wasn't the right decision?! Can we go back? However the outcome, we can only go forwards, once the decision is made all is out of our hands. All one can do is say what one feels and accept the outcome, regardless. We don't know unless we ask, say, mention. TALK!

A good example is fear. When one fears it spurs self to act impulsively. For me, well I wasn't happy with where I was living. So. Boom, job search, LONDON. I had to move out of HOME. I have always been furiously independent and once you move away from home (as student) it feels so weird to go back. It's like going back ten years and becoming 8 years old again. Fear spurred me onto searching for a job, and I found one. The move commenced and so did happy times. Fear=job search=move=happy me. So, could you say I choose to feel fear as that encouraged me to look for jobs? However, couldn't you argue that one could choose in this situation to not be stressed, and not to be unhappy, therefore I could have done the same task in searching for a job but just let it 'be' more. I could have done exactly the same task, felt less stress towards it, yet come out with the same outcome?! I would like Dr Wayne W. Dyer to answer that.

No comments:

Post a Comment