Saturday 28 May 2011

Choosing how you feel

If the way to be is to choose how you feel, then how come for many many years have we believed that the emotions we feel just happen? Surely, as incredible as human intelligence and the ability to evolve is, wouldn't we have adapted, learned and self taught ourselves by now that this is the better option in thinking? Wouldn't this just be healthier? Why does it take a book and the learning's from others for us to recognise a better way of being. How come we have to adapt our brains into adjusting to choosing how we feel, instead of going with our natural instincts?

Perhaps we are all just screwed from the moment of birth. I mean, I can see how we are all propagandised in a sense and conditioned to think how we do-we all learn processes like walking e.t.c We only know how to walk because one of us has taught us to walk that way.

Damn, I have just contradicted my own questions-do I know without putting into words yet? Lets look at it this way, how much of what we read sounds far too idealistic? For me now, even when writing do I realise my own self battle in trying to achieve this potential and not getting or understanding it too immediately. In fact, I find the most annoying thing is that I do understand it. I am the one who says, it is all so silly, it feels like that within those words I get it. Though I am a hypocrite in not living it. We all know the ideal way to live, the unrealistic beginning to it all is that whether we like it or not, the ideal doesn't come at an instant. Life is, a HUGE challenge of patience. I don't like to run before I can walk. I always feel about 80 years old instead of 21. I would say that within the journey of patience it comes down to us who chooses to source the outcome. Personally I haven't really understood self harm, I see it as ridiculous when at the end of the day we all know those that do it seek help. Self harm is only going backwards, or being in a stagnant state. Everything we do in self abuse is a cry for help; a release, a way to beat up, mask, distract from what we are going through. In recent exploration to a new learned way of thinking (most of which I feel I have discussed already in person with others, though being named differently in the form of 'zen') we of course choose to self-harm. But do we choose to be depressed? The body is like a robot after all, so isn't depression a form of chemical imbalance?

What I need to remind myself though, is that 'zen' isn't always constant. I suppose the choosing how we feel, that self strength effectively isn't constant either.

I become reminded by my theory (whether it is original or not, who knows and am not claiming extensively that I am original) that we tend to have three parts. Body, active mind and that other mind who realises stuff before we do ourselves, the subconscious. I have a constant self battle in trying to understand how we work, and the book argues against my instincts of course in accepting that what we do happens, just because. The book argues that we choose how we feel. But how we feel of course is caused by chemicals in our brain. Am I just missing the point and not understanding or explaining properly?! We can't choose chemicals? Therefore we can't choose emotions. So wouldn't that mean we aren't in control of choosing how we feel, when we know at times we (OF COURSE!!) desire to not get stressed about something, yet we do. Or at times we choose to think about things way too much yet we do. However, this is when my part 3 of how we work comes into it. Doesn't part 3 know that without getting stressed about things, surely the answers wouldn't have been and become without all the of the processes before!?

I really cannot tell if I am making sense to anyone so feedback would be greatly appreciated. May be I am going mad!! (or am I choosing to go mad...blah blahh blahhhhh!!!)

1 comment:

  1. Seems to me that you are finding phrases to support your present beliefs or looking for points to argue. Perhaps just reading it without expectation would be a way to go.

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