Thursday 30 June 2011

Self Diagnosis

There's a slight vulnerability in self diagnosis over the internet; the most ironic part is that we never have resolve. Who is to trust reading sources when we aren't qualified Doctors ourselves? All we end up doing is diagnosing self with more stress!

In a strange and contradicting sense, I think it is good that the internet provides so much amazing information, a new library adaptable and instant to our fingertips. When it comes to health, it's something we all need to treat with respect. As much as we learn from internet sources, we need to have faith in Doctors themselves. It can be a struggle to take time off work, to book appointments or register at the Doctors in the first place; though if one thinks about the circumstances to self if we let ourselves go, these particulars seem less important over the fear and doubt in kidding ourselves we are getting better-or even if there is nothing wrong.

To wonder is the worst, we all like resolve and need answers. Why put self through more stress? It is all so silly, and all the more harder to face the truth. But the truth may take you to new places and new horizons no levels of self diagnosis could bring to one.

Take care of one. Please.

Song of the day

This is beautiful, it could move me to tears. Sometimes I find songs can capture what you feel within your instinct.

What sounds can you make with your penis?!

I love nature; it's articles like this which make you appreciate the wonders of the world even more. I am reminded of my childhood days watching David Attenborough Life Planet series with his soothing voice commenting on the characteristics of each animal featured in a episode.

Wednesday 29 June 2011

Alcohol No Surprise

Alcohol has been found linked contributing to suicide rates. Are we all really that surprised considering most know this substance is a depressant. Tell me something I don't know already...please!

Song of the day

I think I have posted this one before, I find it just, gorgeous. It would definitely be on my 'funeral' song list.

Tuesday 28 June 2011

Walking ways

How do you walk? With your head up straight, looking down at the curb or staring high into space?

Our posture, our presence represents how we feel. Sometimes I stride in long steps, giraffe like and fast. Sometimes the ground seems more interesting then looking at the sky. The sky can be blinding at times.

Song of the day, two

Song of the day

Monday 27 June 2011

Song of the day, three

Blog development

Given that this is a blog focusing on perspective, life, happiness and making the most of self. I feel it would be wise and fun to include pictures of what goes on in my life too! How can I talk about achieving happiness and being if there are few images to reflect and demonstrate it as well!

I would like to thank the blogs I follow who inspire me daily. I think it is their attitudes expressed in sharing their worlds with us that I would like to become all the more a part of. Who knows where bigger stories may lead, into bigger adventures?!

New best thing...

Frozen Yogurt from Itsu!!!

Handling Hate

Hate, I find is such a worthless emotion. It doesn't achieve anything and it doesn't solve anything. You could say it is a mere self comfort in reassuring/convincing self that what we feel is justified; it feels like a reaction to an emotion which is essentially empty, unless we decide to do anything with the given emotion. Everything we feels steers us towards making decisions and we take action to solve our mental equation.

Essentially we do our self more damage in feeling such emotions, it's like a armour to feeling vulnerable towards something linked with what we care so much about. How dare 'insert particular annoyance' can affect your happiness. You feel sick, you feel angry, you snap, you do things unexpected of your natural self. We seek release from such an ugly emotion...However, we learn from it as well.

All the more does hate make us realise what we need to face, whether it's the fear attached to the hate, a moment of clarity in fighting against our instinctual thoughts or accepting circumstances out of your control. I see no worth in hating a person-it becomes more of an issue for you then than theirs. To hold such emotion towards a person only gets in the way of sorting things out. It would be a backwards task in achieving your own happiness. Let go and feel fresh.

Today

I am feeling very nervous and anxious today. I do not like it. It is just not me.

Song of the day, two

Song of the day

Saturday 25 June 2011

Song of the day, two

Song of the day

I've posted this song today, but on my travels today it captures the flowing moments of fun:

Sea breeze, coffee and catch ups

A change of scenery, letting off steam, meeting with new and old. I love our natural perspective. Talking to others isn't about confirming your ideas, it isn't about looking for answers-it's about sharing you. Uncontrollably letting somebody in only brings you together. Perhaps it's a natural bond between humans; a level of understanding which beautifully creates connection so euphoric words or images can't compare. It is no vulnerability, it is building and sharing lifestyle. Isn't that what life is all about?

We reach out to others, we reach to our self. A contradictory yet powerful part of me could in a sense walk away from what I have now in order to explore the world and just keep going-though there is part which also wants to make my mark and career my way up in the world. Regardless of those desires, they will only happen when instinct sets in and I shall make those opportunities arise. What events occur in ones life shapes our desires and ways we wish to live. The more that happens to us provides more of an idea to self for our own personal happy goals. Though these will always change and we need to be prepared for that too.

Our adventures are within our own hands and we should make the most of what is on our doorstep. I have always loved the quote from one of my favourite films:
'Take a look around, see what you like'...
Because isn't that what life is all about (those words are becoming slightly over used with moi), we pick and choose what we like and what we are willing to try. It's all a process in which we must absorb. A lot of the time we read books and philosophies which tell us ways to be yet these methods deep down we already know. I think most of us have good perspective which can basically differentiate between wrong and right for self. Sometimes it involves a little self training too though to get grips on embracing those preferences too. How much can we fight against our instincts to go forwards when fear is the only part to hold us back? Fear is becoming all the more tedious and I want to kick it in the face.

When feeling change towards something, guilt cannot exist towards it. In fact perhaps excitement should occur all the more. When a door shuts many more open; majoritively I believe, in making decisions for ourselves we allow more doors to open too. Perhaps a change of wind occurs and other pathways blow open. If the weather becomes windy I like to imagine it like a strong pair of arms wrapping you up, not in comfort but ushering you along your way. It feels like a loose yet steady structure which you choose and allow it to seize you through and beyond. Days like that I wish I could stand near the edge of a cliff, or hill out looking onto the beyond yet remaining solute and planted...wind makes you feel like flying, if only we could float in air as well.

Another favourite quote of mine too:
'And if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and see your friends'...
Lonely, or being alone. None of which is weakness. For me I love to share, I love to seek and find and explore. My life is all about adventure and I only want to reach out to others and build it up with them too. People in our life act like foundations for self to grow and develop even more; without anything and everything I interact with today I wouldn't be me. We should be proud of who we are and unafraid to just be ourselves. No holding back these days eh?! For me it's not about lonely, I only want to learn more. Self time is great but to learn with others as well-it's something I wish it be unstoppable forever.

Friday 24 June 2011

Naked Shots

This is awesome!

Controlling Our Fears

Coming across an interesting article detailing the mass of anxiety problems within the city, it hit home a little:
'Mindfulness training – which teaches you to stay in the moment and pay attention to all your mental and physical sensations without attempting to judge or fix them – is what saved me. And there's an increasing amount of scientific evidence that it's an effective way to treat both depression and anxiety, whether urban or rural...I recently sat alone in pitch darkness on the beach and realised I was perfectly OK with the immenseness of it all, the small dot of me in this enormous world. I wasn't in control, not at all, but so what? I was there, and that was enough.'
I want to say more about this but am finding it hard to put my thoughts into words. Mine lie with thoughts of, if anxiety doesn't get sorted out you may end up killing yourself-slowly or literally.

A life of long unhappiness is my ultimate fear, but in a large number of ways it is in my control whether this happens or not. There will always be factors in or out of our control which affect how happiness turns out; as said in the above quote, we have our own sensations which tell us when things become too much and we have to start listening to ourselves-as much as we keeping telling self we must go on, sometimes you need to stop and rest too.

I wonder how indestructible we can adapt ourselves to external factors which affect our levels of happy. There are so many parts to our brain and continuously do I realise my lessons have been learnt only when it is too late-it is then when things become clearer and more apparent. However I love this notion as well. I feel much more accomplishment in having moments of clarity when I take myself away from something. It feels like reward. In a way, it makes what seemed so complicated even easier to achieve-only to enhance my happiness.

Personally, I have always said you can't reach the high until you truly feel the low; of course there are several levels of low (some being quite dangerous) yet once action is taken to bring yourself back up again (using positive methods) only happiness can be achieved once more.

Dating Death

When you hear your mother tell you she 'is not scared about dying', you would think that initial reactions lead to one feeling sad and afraid. Though hearing those words act more like a comfort in knowing levels of acceptance have occurred. My concern lies with whether (this applies to all of us to) if we accept death and become unafraid, are we then making the most of the life we have? In the process of accepting death, is it right to say we could comfortably accept our outcome if we are satisfied in the continuous process in developing our lives?

Life is based around pleasure (and the opposite being fear); if we simplify and look at daily occurrences perhaps most would recognise if we went back to basics (in a scavenging for ourselves kind) our priorities would change. Factors in which we fuss about may be reflected on and challenged in a good sense. What really does make us happy? Come to think of it, life is simple-we only make it complicated for ourselves in wanting more and living in fear of our desires becoming unattainable.

If death has become more imminent for you than expected; it's blogs such as 'Alices' Bucket List' I think highlights the sheer importance of living and our priorities. The fact that David Cameron wishes to do his best to complete her list before she dies is a marvellous anticipation of life. I hope the rest of the world recognises if we knew we didn't have long as we thought, much less hesitance would occur in holding ourselves back. I would hope everyone experience all they wish for too.

It's moments like these, hearing about people out there with illness or disabilities or anything which hinders their way of living to the norm which most of us are lucky to have; prioritising takes place. If something isn't quite right then do something about it. If it means analysing and taking a step back from things then go for it. Priority is to enjoy your life. I think taking a step back may take two outcomes; you may not be as concerned about particular things in your life anymore, or you become more hands on and sort out the particulars you doubt.

We all have our own mental check list of what makes us happy, what we want to achieve and lifestyles we want to have and enjoy in the future. Life is a chase for all of our self achievements to be fulfilled; so when life's end is more imminent for some, or if living as a torturous being to self exists
 (so living may not even feel quite like life anymore) what really means something to you shines out more. Imagine once it's gone, you may want to make the most of it now.

Thursday 23 June 2011

Song of the day, three

Refinding yourself

Words one can only admire from Carey Tennis:
My challenge to a therapist is this: "Tell me something I don't know. Surprise me." When I am led to see things that startle me, of which I had no inkling, that is priceless self-knowledge. And that can happen.

One thing you probably don't know about yourself is just how deeply you have been wounded. You cannot know this yet; in fact you have wisely prevented yourself from knowing this yet. It is as though, in a dream, we look down and see that we have been disemboweled; it is a moment of absolute terror; but we see that we have been disemboweled and yet we are fine! How can this be? How can we be so grievously wounded and yet smile peacefully and continue with our knitting or our guitar playing or whatever we are doing in our strange dream? We can do that because armed with the exquisite knowledge of the dream world we know that nothing can truly harm us, that we are spirit matter, that our consciousness is not affected by the disemboweling, and that it is only our severe waking attachment that causes us so much paralyzing fear.

Believing the wound is too deep to be seen, you have clouded your own sight from it. But you don't need to. There is someone who can guide you to the cliff edge from which that wound can be viewed at a safe distance, and you can see that it is just a wound to your spirit self, not your actual belly, and you can relax.

Spongebob Square...Mushroom?!

This is amazing! A new mushroom has been discovered and because of it's appearance, researchers have named it after the one and only Spongebob Squarepants!

Song of the day, two

Song of the day


We've only ever kissed lying down
We've only ever touched
When there's no one else around
I can be elusive
If you want me to
I'm not being intrusive
I just wish I knew the truth

As to why
I wait for you
Longer than the average person would
And why
I think about you
More than I think one should

Our bodies fit together
Like a make-shift puzzle
And it's clear to see why you puzzle me
And you turn your frame
And you whisper my name
As though I am a burden

Cause I'm making up for lost time
And I'm making up for you
And I'm waking up from last night
And I'm waking up with you
So what's new?
So what's new?

I am at your house
So I belong to you for now
Trying to impress you
But lord I don't know how
I can be a statue
If you want me to
I'm not being difficult
I just need to know the truth

As to why
I'm wanting you
And I would take you if I could
And why I'm still (lay?) here
It's something I still haven't understood

Our hands rest together
Like pieces of paper
But they're always blank
When I hold your hand
And it gave you a fright
When I stayed the night
And you gave yourself to me

Cause I'm making up for lost time
And I'm making up for you
And I'm waking up from last night
And I'm waking up with you
So what's new?
So what's new?

It's not the end
It's not the end
So don't lets pretend

Cause I'm making up for lost time
And I'm making up for you
And I'm waking up from last night
And I'm making up for you
So what's new?
So what's new?
So what's new?

Wednesday 22 June 2011

Stop complaining

Lets not complain about the rain when some countries are suffering from drought.

At least we have rain and water. Dance in it.

Song of the day


Enjoy, the video is beautiful.

Monday 20 June 2011

Drawing lines in our mind

When something difficult is going on in your life, there can be so many distractions and also positive things to focus on instead. I have always had an obsession perhaps you could say in sorting out the good in my life, to the parts which you could say are doing more damage. I have never had patience towards any given 'thing' which doesn't always feel like it's doing me any good.

As previously posted, when you think of the alternative from what you know-there are moments you think about which seem certain to lead towards unhappiness. How could we carry on without? More and more do I think that when recurrent thoughts come back to mind about situations we imagine putting our self in; surely that is saying more to us to go for it than to keep holding back?
Sometimes the decision is starting us in the face, whether it means a change for a short while or for permanent. We won't know whether the decision is right until we go for it. May be we all need to grab a pair of balls and swallow our pride in making such scary decisions. I've always hated to wonder and think it's about time I must stop kidding myself too. 

Parts of our lives exist for a reason; I will never stop believing that we will always learn. We always experience and always take so much from those moments. I draw a line over some in my mind and call it quits. It just feels right this time.

Song of the day

YUM!

For those of you that have a sweet tooth and enjoy a good dunk in their tea

Perspective Shots

Here are a few photographs taken from journalists in risky war situations. I think they put into perspective the value of life when we are willing put ourself in danger too.

Gower Skinny Dipping World Record

As previously spoken about in Clanky Pan; Skinny dippers hit a new world record of around 400 people!

Sunday 19 June 2011

Song of the day

A relationship with entrapment

Personally, I don't quite understand when people are together yet when asked about the relationship-they don't seem happy! Frustration lies in how long can you keep something up if you aren't happy? I wonder whether it is a question of love, its strength gives you the will to stay with someone in hope it will get better; however is the other side a fear of going into a new unknown which keeps people in the same position?

Perhaps there is too much fear in making the decision and not wanting to realise you have made a mistake. Though wouldn't that only enhance the love? Sure there is a question of too little too late, but if the unhappiness without someone overwhelms our stubborn nature in being rejected... I think we are all aware of the better alternative than being without.

However, for those who really aren't happy and end their current relationship; wouldn't it be good to instigate a bit of confidence in them knowing their decision is right, because it felt like the right thing to do and that it is ok to be interested in other people?! Sometimes it can be a case of not wanting to commit, yet if you can be upfront about how you want to live; if someone is interested in you enough I am sure they would like to adapt to your decisions as well.

We meet people for a reason, one can only learn.

Wednesday 15 June 2011

Naked Ballet Dancing Photographs

A previous post mentions the performance of naked ballet dancing. For those curious, here are the photographs to match.

Columbia Road

Looks like I am going to have to explore more of London this weekend: Columbia Road promises to have many quirky shops to explore-this one will definitely satisfy my sweet tooth.

Giving Blood

In reading about giving blood, I find this article from the BBC really doesn't exactly push the idea and importance in blood donations-they more so focus on the free drinks, biscuits and pain of the event.

Perhaps when writing about blood donations, they should emphasise statistical importance and the comparison of pain which flashes for 3 seconds-to the reward in knowing that your blood can save a life! I think descriptions detailing the feeling of blood giving is mentioned three times, I don't feel the article is supportive enough to justify listing these explanations!

Black and white emphasis needs to be made, if you can take the time out to give blood, feel a slight pain yourself (which is gone within seconds) compared to loosing a life-perhaps some would understand the selfishness in not giving our time as to those loosing their entire existance.

Philosophy today

This morning I have read a very interesting point made by a blog I follow. I think it's accurate in the fact it mentions:
'philosophy as a practice and not a subject, as a means, and not an end. '
Many people see their ways as the only way, I have always found that open mindedness is best. Life is always about variables and philosophy is always going to change according to human intelligence and life lessons. Science, new technology-we are constantly adapting to new ways of living. What we learn can never be set in stone; is it right in saying philosophy only makes sense to the individual based on their personal experiences-which make it just?

Will philosophy ever become outdated as the world continues to develop? Perhaps that is the most fascinating thing about life itself; sometimes things are always applicable to the individual-the power of life, self realisation and learning what is import to one, isn't always the priority for another. Life is about priorities, and without these complete we wouldn't be happy. Though, to make those in our life happy as well as ourselves, we adapt to others too along with completing our own wishes.

Today

I will write today!!!

Sorry for being lame and not posting!

Song of the day

Monday 13 June 2011

Apologies

For no posts!! I have been away over the weekend! Hopefully my hands will kick into action soon!

Friday 10 June 2011

Ann Patchett Interview

A good interview with Ann Patchett. Some lovely words to take note of:
"I think it's brain chemistry, I'm a positive, cheerful person and I think it is absolutely the luck of the draw. I think the life I have had has come largely from the chemicals in my head. I see my life as good and I think a lot of times if you see your life as good then that's how it turns out."

Song of the day

Thursday 9 June 2011

Song of the day

Something which kick starts my walk to work in the mornings

Wiggle your big toe

Sat on your arse thinking, I should do this, I have that to be getting on with...but you feel too tired to do it. That voice in your head spinning around saying, come on now, get on with it, you know you have too...

It's times like these I always think of Kill Bill Volume One, when Uma Thurman is sitting in the 'Pussy Wagon' trying to get her comatosed legs to come back to life. Sometimes I feel like that about myself when my motivation starts to fizzle. It can be a very frustrating feeling as I am one to just get things sorted. I think when one does become slightly sluggish towards the usual norms, clearly there is something else going on in the background! Sort it out, sort it out, sort it out!

A state of static is caused. One cannot move in all the uncertainty in trying to work it out, where does this feeling come from? We go round and round punishing ourselves, until we get answers. I still believe that what makes us most sick are ourselves.

A simply dangerous set up

Don't we really like it when thing's seem to go a lot easier than we initially thought? A part of us seems to expect the worse, though isn't this kind of attitude a danger in itself? We end up setting ourselves up with the wrong face on our shoulders and perhaps cause more tension then needs be.

Why not anticipate the unknown and say to yourself, I wonder how this may turn out. If thoughts of doubt linger over our head then they will affect our treatment towards a subject we may not feel 100% about. I think sometimes we don't give ourself enough credit in the power we have individually to change something around. In a way, what only makes something a little bit uncertain are the vibes we create with our mind. Our attitudes and levels of confidence represent to others as much as ourselves our capabilities, something only exists in truth if we all agree and believe it too. We can't always assume the worst.

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Pride and Ego Aside

When one tries to slow self down it's like everything around you becomes a little clearer. Sometimes when we slow down it means accepting the help of others: medication, advice or someone taking the extra little chores off your mind. In accepting help, it means putting all pride and egos aside. Let others in to help you, the only one you battle with otherwise is yourself.

A change to the name

'Just, Be...' has now changed to 'Clanky Pan'. It was advised to me and I have chosen to accept that my title should really represent where exactly I wish to go with this blog.

'Clanky Pan' comes from the story of, when asked to name what I would call my cafe it if were near a train station. At first I said 'Tin Foil', and in realising that was crap...'Clanky Pan' was born.

I think it best represents all of the random goings on in my brain, and the opinions to go with the rest of the world as well. Constantly working and making sounds.

Smelling an e-book

The discussion continues, also though prices over the production of books and download costs of e-books largely differ; I am STILL not convinced.


A book has that amazing new/old smell to it, also a book is a book, and that is all. That is the beauty of it. Where as with an e-book; technology is always developing and an e-book now won't be the same kind in ten years time.

At least I know where I stand with a book. $4 production costs momentarily, though an investment. With e-books money will be going out all the time for more and more development expenditures-I get tired of always having to upgrade.

Monday 6 June 2011

test for twitter

wahoo

Understanding the conscious

An interesting article from The Huffington Post in understanding our conscious. I have picked out quotes of which appealed most to me:
'In light of the reality of our postmodern predicament, engagement with spiritual inquiry becomes very potent and inherently meaningful, because what you are doing is not just philosophical and intellectual entertainment. You are actually trying to make sense of life in the biggest context for the biggest reasons. It's not a game. You are literally trying to create new grooves in consciousness -- new structures, deeper perspectives and higher potentials...
The intersubjective field, which is the self, can and does develop according to the level of participation of those individuals who are actually passionately concerned with its development.'

I find the following quote one of which I myself needs to listen to!
'...the problem is that when we begin to accumulate knowledge, our ego tends to get attached to the idea that it knows something. We often begin to feel that we are important simply because we know something. Knowledge makes the ego feel powerful, and more often than not creates a wall that protects and empowers that part of the self. And when we are attached to the idea of being someone who already knows, it's very difficult to learn or develop at the level of the soul. Especially when the context is enlightenment, development always involves venturing into unknown territory...Intersubjective evolution is always a matter of conscious, intentional, volitional, willing cooperation.'
'Not already knowing, at the deepest level, aligns us with the ground of all being, that primordial emptiness, inherently free and already liberated, that is the Self as unmanifest consciousness. Wanting to know, passionately, energetically wanting to understand, aligns us simultaneously with the Authentic Self, which is the evolutionary impulse or deepest manifest expression of consciousness.'
Some very poignant and accurate words to bear in mind. I find myself constantly seeking words to remind self of things I say, I already know and am aware about, yet for me I am need of reminders in the basic conscious learning. I need to learn it is ok to feel what I feel and to not battle against it in order to protect self from sadness. It all just needs to flow.

Bermondsey Street Festival

I am excited to read about a small festival taking place this September on the street I walk to and from to work upon, just a minute away from my flat!

Sunday 5 June 2011

Weekend wonder. Self control

Hello all, it's been a quiet one this weekend.

I love my room, I love the big window and the fact I can sit, lie and look at the sky. Wow that rhymed, unintentionally...

This room though, becomes a bit of a safety zone. So much occurs in this room, but even when I think to go out I can't quite work out where. I think it is due to a change in, 'diet', which is causing a sense of indifferent. I can't work out what to do with myself. Frustrating to say the least, I find myself getting very patient, yet impatient with my inability to concentrate on particular tasks. I am finding myself having to tell one, you must do this, at least several times over in my head. I hope I am not becoming shut off from myself!

Control is funny. All the while I am fighting with my body I also just want to lie in a room for a very long time. And do, nothing. Which is SO unlike me! I think it important when someone goes through stages such as these that we build ourselves up in ways and take control of our lives; so when the time comes when we reflect back and examine ourselves, we have less possibility in looking back in angst and regret. Now is the time to sort self out in ways one has always wanted too. Listen to your body.

Time alone is very very good for everyone. Even half an hour a day can do you justice. In my time alone this weekend I have had fantastic thoughts about those people I know and reaching out to them, knowing that there is still more work to be done in setting up my social circuit in London and also which direction I want to take my life. What once seemed scary isn't seeming so scary after all. I think a lot of how I felt in the past has been so so attached to fear that, well, what will be WILL be. And that is all. I think the new 'diet' is strange, yet good in the sense that I have been given a new way to calm and think a little bit clearer. I don't want to cause any more trouble for myself in reacting outrageously to what I am going through. It is a phase. Not forever. Because of this I feel all the more prepared and safe to cry. Safe to let go and be and deal with EVERYTHING. I need to handle this and more importantly I want to handle this. I don't want to shut down any more. I think I am beginning to remember what happy was, and is-in small doses. 

There is general happy, but for me perhaps my happy isn't always the same as everyone else's. Mine is euphoric. I know I look at the world differently to most I know. It isn't simple for me, yet is all at the same time. I want to feel my warm laughter, my smile which goes inside and out again. When I feel that, it comes from thinking about the people I know. My memories. It also comes from times I imagine when I think ahead; self goals and achievements to occur. I've been dancing in my room over the last couple of days and It has taken all week for that energy to come again. Once the head ache at the back of my head disappears hopefully things won't seem so spacey anymore!!

Friday 3 June 2011

Quote of the day

Targeting fear, as we all know that is what most hold backs in life come down to:
'It's best that we remind ourselves that there is less shame in failure and defeat than in never trying at all, that many great hearts and minds have risen from the ashes of multiple failures and defeat to reap the rewards of great success and prosperity.
Bottom line: we must be vigilant over our thoughts, stop the negativity and be positive and enthusiastic regardless of adversity and seemingly overwhelming odds against us, and push forward with one true thought always in the forefront of our consciousness. Win, lose or draw, it's much better to play the game than watch from the sidelines.'

Library and Book Debate

Returning to the discussion over the irreplaceable factors of books:
'...through books...Books are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people — people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book."'
One lunchtime I noticed a guy holding a Kindle, and it just looked so stiff. It would not rest on his leg properly, he had to carefully balance it whilst eating his lunch. Books make people and people make books.

Crying about Cancer

Mary Elizabeth Williams shares her story with coping with heartbreaking experiences, yet trying to remain the strong mother all at the same time.
'In less than a year, my daughters have experienced a lifetime of fears and anxieties and griefs. But they also witnessed a stunning outpouring of kindness and compassion, and have experienced so many moments of pure, radiant grace. Because of everything that's gone down, in profound new ways, we all love each other more deeply. We hold each other more tightly. And though my daughters know now, in a way I wish they didn't have to, that the world can be scary sometimes and that moms and dads cry too, I hope they've learned also that tears themselves are nothing to be afraid of. They just mean we're feeling our feelings.'

Beginners

Salon reviews the film 'Beginners', I was curious to this film to begin with though now I am very keen to watch it, and even go to the cinema to view. Yes, I know it seems weird for me to say that, but for someone who gets restless even with the thought of watching tv-cinemas can seem a tiny bit daunting.

I love the review, the following points I really take to heart. I have selected a few quotes which I think fit in nicely with perspective:
'Beginning with death, the end of an individual's life, has a peculiar elegance, in that it reminds us that human life is not primarily a question of individuals, and that places and objects and memories and threads of consciousness connect us across generations.'
'Hal was a museum curator, and he's right of course: Those things do fit together in some mysterious pattern. Allow yourself to see them in the right way, and they're beautiful.'

Song of the day

I fell asleep to classical music last night, and one included the above. Gorgeous!! Pretty sounds!! I think I always imagine clouds when I hear this kind of music.

Thursday 2 June 2011

Made In Chelsea

Usually a sentence like 'I am ashamed to admit, my guilty TV choice is 'Made In Chelsea', yet for me I have no guilt. I really enjoy it!

I feel drawn to programmes like these because of their desire for its demographic to endure an idea of ones lifestyle. We all desire to learn what is different from our own. Increasingly throughout the series, FINALLY the editing has got fairly better and some of the shots are beautifully captured.

Getting passed the conventions and structured scenes of 'Chelsea', I would like to focus on the particular lifestyles and attitudes shown within the programme. Of course we have to take everything with a pinch of salt, hours of endless editing exists to construct a storyline and exchanged glances across the table to create drama. All bitchiness aside, I find it interesting to examine the general attitudes across each character. 

Without mentioning names, I feel that though these people may be seen as to 'have it easy', a large part of me thinks they have their priorities in the right place. Their current day to day generally seems based on sourcing pleasure. They seek when to have the next best social event or together occasion. They thrive from being around others and enjoying themselves. Sure, we all assume that the rich are delusional towards what 'living' really is, though deep down we know that if there were a choice for ourselves-as if we would turn down the lavish lifestyle. 
To have a piece of 'what shall I do today, because I can', instead of 'what shall we do in two weeks because we have to save'...I am glad to see these people enjoying themselves and making the most of what they have got. If we saw people of the such moaning all the time (all personal dramas aside) and not going out at all-I am sure we would hold grudges about the programme even more!

Lets talk about GOD!

This is what I learned about Christianity yesterday:

God is love.

Apparently, I already have enough love within myself for others.

Do I need god?...

Someone I know says they need to work on the love they have inside them as sometimes they don't always give it to people, especially the people they don't know.

Kingdom business=God is God, he does what he likes. All you have to do is trust in him. What you do doesn't affect God. Kingdom business is winning souls for Christ by talking to people about Christ. The Ten Commandments rules of God's kingdom.


Belief is what makes God real. Yet belief is not kingdom business.



I still have more to put into perspective. The end conclusion for religion yesterday, were the words that God will allow us into heaven or hell whether we believe in him or not. He recognises that we are sorry for our 'sins', and sees the goodness in our hearts regardless.

So why do people preach and go to church if God is within us, regardless?

I still have a lot to learn.

Forgiving Acid Attack

For somebody to become so caught up with their own emotions, and to seek resolve by seeking revenge over a case of rejection. I am baffled.

Ameneh Bahrami is fighting for her attacker to have his own eyes burnt with acid, as he blinded and disfigured her face after throwing the substance in hers. There are two points to this article in which one I can agree with and the other, not:
"He said 'I am going to destroy your life and do something so nobody will marry you'," she remembers.
This all from being turned down for marriage. It actually scares me knowing that there are people out there who want to satisfy their own insecurities by paining others. I feel appalled by human nature:

'Bahrami won her case in 2008, when the court ruled that the 27-year-old Movahidi should be blinded with acid. It also sentenced him to jail and ordered that he pay compensation to the victim.'

But I think this also appals me as well. I couldn't imagine having some sort of power over somebody to feel the same pain one may have been through. It is just not within my nature, to get revenge. However, I do agree with Bahrami's point in wanting to teach people like this, a lesson in hope they would get perspective as well. Realisation of one's action MUST be realised, otherwise who knows what they may do next?:

'... But she is determined to pursue the ruling. "If I forgive, I get nothing for forgiveness," she says..."The same if I take his eyesight, I get nothing. But I want people like Majeed to know that there is punishment."'
Though what feels like double standards is also a very difficult situation to balance. How far should punishment go? I feel like this towards children in school too. As I have got older, it seems the children get smaller, and cheekier! Humans are becoming more intelligent in picking up peoples weaknesses, and children play on these vibes. I think a physical attack only shows a weakness in people, they feel they have to use brute strength to make their point. I find words are stronger than actions, but with words are they not stronger if examples can be attached to them as well?

All the more I am finding news that suggests classic methods of punishment should be brought back into action. Bear with me in trying to explain the following: If the consequence brought about the idea more strongly that if one does unfavourable 'action', they will have to under go another activity-unpleasurable, yet not exactly the most painful. However, this being unpleasurable in the sense that the 'activity' may not end as soon as they would like. Would this mean for those that 'sin', would gain a better understanding into the consequences they set for their victims as well?

Song of the day

Beautiful. I think the video kind of shows what my brain feels like!...

Blog views

In a research stats check up it would seem I have hit my goal of 100 hits. Small compared to most, yes, but in not knowing who reads this and for a virtual world so wide 100 feels like a good number to have. 

Thank you all for checking in!

London Bridge Girls

Apologies for the lack of posting today, the day has been somewhat 'wednesday-ish'. Though it's far from the middle of the week slump, I think one has had so many words to choose from.

On my walk home for the first time, my eyes met with the same girl I kind of look for every morning. We pass roughly just on London Bridge or just after it as you reach into Monument. I think it was her style of fashion that caught me eye. Not the most unique sense of style, though her hair become the most unique thing. Appearances aside, It got me thinking about regular occurrences we have with people every day; whether it's our daily commute, to get our coffee, our lunch at the supermarket or picking out our clothes at the nearest shop. I think I see these people more often than those I would call my friends.

Whether this has come from engaging a little bit better with the guys next door that make my coffee, or having worked as front of house receptionist for around 7 months now (wow time flies); I can't help but think shouldn't we make a little more effort in engaging with the people we walk past regularly as well? On my most recent trip to Wales, walking down the canal the certainty in people to just say 'hello' to a stranger surprised me again. Their interaction with 'strangers' was so natural. Whether it's living in London itself, because I haven't really experienced much animosity with passers by, I think based on the population of people, passing bodies become flashes and that is all. We loose their face. So what if I joined walking with some of those I pass everyday and said hello? What if I invited them out for a drink?...Would I be seen as crazy, or a little over eager?! 

I think I have a fascination in learning about people anyways, their character, the things that tick them off. I think it's some sort of beauty in life. There is a weird simplicity about me that can be satisfied with so little yet want so much at the same time. It's an odd battle because sometimes when I get chances to delve with people, I can get frustrated and bored. Whether it's a short attention span or disability to concentrate and become distracted sometimes-I think one should remind to be more patient with people. So if someone came up to me whilst walking to work, and said hello, how would I react?!

Initially, well if it's a guy I think it now has been built into most women (only recently for my naive self) that most of the time when a guy talks to you it's because he is attracted to you in some way. I hate this notion and still battle against it, I want to prove a point; my own urges to talk to women in just wanting to make friends, in talking to guys because I want to make friends ( I have grown up with a good amount of purely male friends my whole life). Are we now restricted to 'organised' and structured social situations as 'adults', to be allowed and for it to be acceptable to converse? I begin to understand how things may get 'harder' as we get older, yet we are setting up these restrictions ourselves. We become less patient and more unwilling to let people into our crafted and formed worlds. Are new faces worth the hassle?

It feels like a completely cut off approach to civilisation. As children, we play in a park and talk to others all the time, just because! I rarely hear a story these days were people meet, out of the blue. I'm hoping we haven't got our guards and wariness up, too much that it is unhealthy. I don't want there to always be some sort of alternative motive. Usually we hear tales of how people meet because there is an attraction linked:past date, work related function, friend of a friend. One day I would like to hear a story about how two people met, just because they got caught up in conversation about learning with one another, about who each other are!