To label a man in a skirt

A 'life' story posted on Salon.com by Jon-Jon Goulian. Naturally we all end up being labelled, we all become categorised. There always seems to be desires within all to specialise and make note on who someone is or what they are. It seems we all search for identity and perhaps are confused when someone can't pin-point their own. Does it raise the question of, shouldn't we be better as humans to accept sooner, how and what people are? Why so often do we naturally react to the unknown or different with unsettled response; perhaps we shouldn't take so much time in making up our own minds for it is for others to decide themselves.

'I move from coast to coast seemingly at whim, doing the same "nothing" in Los Angeles that I was doing just as easily in New York; my love life is baffling, my romantic entanglements lasting, on average, about forty-five minutes; I sometimes go for weeks, even months, not speaking to anyone, in a state of willful solitary confinement, and, far from unsettling me, this seems to bring me nothing but peace and fulfillment; despite having a law degree, and having clerked for a federal judge, which should have earned me a salary by now of at least $250,000 a year, my most recent bout of employment, for $12 an hour, was babysitting a seven-year-old girl named Ruth; I own nothing, and save nothing, and accomplish nothing tangible, and have no permanent hold on life whatsoever...

This difficulty in summing me up drives people crazy. They won't have it. Whether I like it or not, they'll find just the right label for me -- homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, polysexual, metrosexual, metasexual; autosexual, cryptosexual, crypticsexual, protosexual, extraterrasexual, gender-bender, glam-boy, player, poseur, flaneur, slut, aesthete, dandy, lebenskunstler; lotus-eater; bohemian nymph; bourgeois nymph; bourgeois nymph masquerading as a bohemian nymph! -- and, whether they like it or not, they’re determined to make it stick.'

Sluts, prudes, whores, fashion...

It interests me when asked how people would summarise their thoughts towards the words 'slut', 'whore' and so forth... Most of the time it is a varied opinion separated by age. The younger say whore without realising what the true meaning instigates. We all have our ideas of inappropriate dress and behaviour, as a woman myself it does frustrate and seems endless that forever woman will be known as sluts and whores yet men have no masculine equivalent. Is there a slutty outfit for men?!

I remember when the word 'tarty' was used when I was a kid, my mum would always make sure what I wore-especially whilst growing up meant I wanted to try new styles of clothing (influenced by all sorts of media), that nothing came across as 'tarty' and not 'too grown up'. It was important to not put the wrong message across and encourage the wrong kind of attention. I find the debate lies in woman dressing to be sexy and represent their feminitity, and represent their attitude towards themself and how they feel-though however biased the following may seem as one who has (as confident as I can be in saying this) taken the short skirt and baring all approach too far-is dressing slutty a case of inhibitions put on show?

How much does bearing all become bearing our weaknesses?

Of course there are many reasons why women show more and show less. It is hard to distinguish why people feel more comfortable showing more skin and if this is down to freedom of expression or asking for some kind of attention, to make one feel good about themselves? Can the balance be knowing when each social situation is appropriate. I know full well I wouldn't want to wear (or risk!) a variably low cut top to see my grandparents yet on the walk to work I wouldn't think anything about it. There is a balance to how we present ourselves and to what we wear, perpaps the reactions of others make it seem wrong or is it instinct within ourselves to know otherwise?

Appearance does hold its importance as we tend to judge people within the first seven seconds where our first impressions are made-these also tend to stick and take time to change as well. My concern is with what people wear on occassions when there is a more serious danger in putting the wrong message across. Can a woman wear an outfit showing skin though not necessarily putting out the idea 'I am here to have sex with'? Can a woman wear a figure showing flesh flaring outfit for herself, or are there just too many messages behind our clothes? A good question to ask self when dressing is who am I wearing this for?, and why. If anything, is there something we want to achieve?

I am not saying that we should all have to cover up regardless of how we feel about ourselves, I suppose I am just curious to boundries we may build for one self. How much does personal syle reflect our sexual freedom and our sexual hold ups. Is 'slutty' the new free being?

The balance of the argument is expression of self (after all why do nudist beaches exist!) and just being with our bodies, or showing our bodies to get effect in order to establish ourselves and re-enforce any doubts we may withold. I think everyone does it slightly everyday, we become wise to everybodies reactions even if it is something as innocent as, when a friend may compliment on a dress... Next time you see them you may wear that same dress in hope of getting a positive response again. It is quiet fascinating that clothes have marvellous emotional attachments to them. Some see fashion as somethng superficial-it is a ugly ugly world considering the unfair trade that works with it. But on the other hand it is a world so beautiful as well, it is human. It is creation in so many forms.