Rules in Relationships

The following words link back to a previous post.

'I think a lot of people worry that non-monogamy means that you are more unstable in your relationship and that monogamy is a way of guarding against outside threats to your relationship. But you're suggesting that non-monogamy can actually help strengthen a relationship.

For some relationships. It would really threaten others. I'm not recommending it as a program, I'm recommending it as an option. I think what people have to do is negotiate and be honest about what their needs are and mate with people who have the same desires and goals. I tell a lot of stories in the book of different gay relationships, including absolute monogamy where no breach would ever be tolerated.

The idea is to make the vows that you really want to keep, and to know that over the life course you might have to renegotiate them. The idea of cheating is when you break the promise and there's only one promise you're supposed to make -- so we're going to get a lot of promise breakers. But if you allow people to promise what they really mean to promise and are able to do, you'll have fewer cheaters because you would have different definitions of what cheating means. Cheating would mean breaking the terms of whatever agreement is made.

When you were saying that you're advocating for people to be honest about what they need, it struck me that it can be hard to even personally know what's right for you because of the way that monogamy is put on such a cultural pedestal.

You're absolutely right. The argument against my position, one that I take seriously, is that without a template or background rules, you leave too much to negotiation and disagreements. I take it seriously, but I still think it's a better alternative to feel an obligation to be honest with yourself and honest with your partner.'

I like this as it reinforces communication between the people you want to be involved with. One doesn't know where they stand unless otherwise stated. In finding more articles like the above, I feel it establishes more that we all need to make our own rules. Perhaps settling for what we think we should do is a way of life that should start to be forgotten about. In making our rules it further enhances our own lifestyle desires, our own goals and in all putting the power in our own hands towards self's level of happiness. Sometimes we forget that not only do we negotiate with others, we accidentally negotiate with ourselves.

In Love and Sex

I found the following words quite interesting given the post I made yesterday:

'In my memoir I have exposed myself – not just sexually but emotionally. I've shown myself as weak, sometimes naive, and written about sexual rejection. A reviewer says she finds my emotional candour more shocking than the sex. I find this fascinating. The British are very squeamish about emotions too. Is owning up to rejection a bigger taboo than sex? I have written from the point of view of making what I thought was a colossal error: sex, I say, ruined my life. We have been given a formula for a "valid" relationship: it must combine sexual and platonic love. If a relationship isn't sexual, it isn't the real thing.

Yet love affairs come in every size and shape. Whether a person lives in passionate celibacy with another, or in a blaze of erotic desire with someone they find annoying, there are hundreds of flavours and mixtures of love. I made myself unhappy measuring my love against a given norm. The truth is, we make ourselves happy in among a wide variety of loves; all count.'

Is monogamy a dependancy to hide our inhibitions?

Talking from the perspective someone has gained in being exposed to the idea of polyamory, I have come across this article detailing the rules of monogamy, yet they consistently seem to be broken in the public eye.

'There's this sort of naive thinking that somewhere, somehow one public figure is going to prove to us that you can do [long-term monogamy], and then there's the indignation and second-guessing that happens when their infidelity is exposed.'

Whether people have affairs, open relationships, multiple loves in relationships (polyamorists) or remain monogamous; it is questionable to what makes one decide in going ahead in seeking others attention. It could be flattery, it could be lust, it could be seeking into the unknown. Sometimes people just catch the attention of another and this is fulfilled in having sex. If this is a one off or not, in my eyes, this would only seem wrong if one of the two people involved have agreed to a monogamous relationship-isn't that what the term 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' means these days. You make a commitment to one another by not seeing other people; though I want to examine why we feel the need to make this idea apparent. What is there to prove?

We regularly hear phrases like 'I wouldn't know what to do without them', or 'they make me feel complete'; but why?! Yes, these sentences represent ideals in proclaiming the strength of love but for what reasons do they fulfill the person involved? I believe if these words are said, at least they should be carried with known connections to another person-you know what life is like without them, of course you would survive, but wouldn't you prefer them to be in your life as they are wonderful! Not because they are fulfilling a purpose?! I do wonder myself whether how much we may rely on another person, and at what point does someone who we think we have romantic feelings for-do they become a dependency to our happiness as well?

One the one hand, you could say that before you meet somebody your life was good. Perhaps it wasn't until you met girl or boy that your life got even better. This idea I like. Though the alternative which is less of my preference; life always seem liked something was missing until girl/boy came into your life. Surely we should be completing our own goals and life ambitions before a person seems to complete our lost limb?...( I have always found this curious when young couples 'settle down', and have always felt there is a danger in assuming what you want, yet then this seems harder to change when things don't pan out as expected.)

Sometimes it seems that if there are deeper issues involved within self, this can accidentally become transferred onto another. Do we then see our other half as fixing the issue or just as a pleasant distraction towards dealing with the ultimate topic itself? I think when it comes to becoming romantically involved with someone, I find it idealistic to know more of who you are yourself before you become in risk of developing your mind and attaching it to someone elses. I prefer not to doubt self and develop a false sense of self belief in feeling more complete just because there is someone else around who is amazing, in your life. Sometimes it's personal experiences of the such which may lead to one thinking of wider ideas in our interaction with people. Just because monogamy is the norm, doesn't mean it's the only way. Most people see polygamy as something based upon religion (and also looking at divorce statistics, surely the idea of having more wives would make any person scared enough to even consider the idea!); most people forget the idea of polyamory-or at least an open relationship. I have come to establish that most individuals whether they are involved with another or not, forget to make their own rules.

I mean, polyamory stands for loving more than one. I believe if you are going to follow through with this notion, you have to make your own rules and stick to them as well. In observation it would see that with this lifestyle, making the rules and sticking to them becomes easier in experience of polyamory. You don't know what is right for you until having tried something; sometimes rules are spoken, made and broken and the wrong people get hurt...Most importantly with this concept, there needs to be no threat received from any party involved. Ones love for another doesn't affect the love for someone else; though this idea for me personally provides so many challenges in circumstances; location, it all being a balancing act e.t.c., perhaps that is more appropriate for another post...

In returning to exploring different ideas of 'relationships'; polyamory doesn't always have to flow with everyone involved. Just because one connection may have two loves, doesn't mean one of those two loves has several others as well. Loves in this case, doesn't just mean sex. Polyamory idealises romantic feelings for several people. I personally know that, well I couldn't cope too well in having strong love for one, and perhaps another person. I strongly believe in open relationships; though this too has its problems with those you may date, feeling second best to 'the one' you have made clear to them, you love. (There is a risk in it feeling like a sorting situation, in proposing this idea of openness yet it seeming like a set up to narrow people down to 'the one'.) I think that's what most people forget and where infidelity occurs. If you want to sleep with someone else, or even get to know them a little better-isn't it better to be honest with them about it instead of going behind their back. Sometimes you just don't know what reaction you may get. The 'other half' may be comfortable with this idea as well; they may have dabbled with the ideas themselves as well. This is where I think people should make their own rules, why do you think so many married couples play with the idea of swinging as well.

For me, I know that love creates priorities. All of our life experiences create priorities which in a way make love all the more harder, and sometimes our ideas of love even harder too maintain. Why do we think people divorce after 20 years of marriage? It's scary to think 20 years ago a couple were so so happy, yet all that time later both of those individuals have changed, either grown apart from each other, an affair has triggered the separation, or they mutually hate one another. Love seems all the more scary and these situations further challenge the idea of 'the one' itself. In meeting other people, feeling for other people-to what extent does this challenge the strength of ones love?

There are people out there to meet in the world, so why not go out there and meet them?! Some may look at it as an amazing opportunity, to meet, dine, date, sleep with all of those fantastic people you meet and have great life experiences. However, the other idea is that some people-well they just love someone so much that no-one else really shines through. It would seem that this is some sort of instinctual behaviour for humans and love. Sometimes are feelings are just so whole, powerful and overwhelming that the phrase 'love is blind' really does apply. So does this concept challenge polyamorists in their desires to explore with others?

I once read the quote from a famous Actor, Johnny Depp who said:

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really love the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

So where does feeling for others really come from? Are we just too scared in putting too much value on one?? Is this the reason why people choose to break from the rules of monogamy or is it our own natural desires to feel 'free' and wanting to explore other people as well?

You could say, it's a massive step in personal development. Perhaps one gets to a point where they realise that there is no other lifestyle for them and that experiencing life with several people is more amazing than experiencing it with one. You can't really argue with that if it's what makes them happy. I see an importance though in getting the rules right, no-one intentionally wants someone they become involved with to get hurt. However accidental pain always occurs:

'It seems like we use monogamy to protect against the possibility of our feelings, or our partner's feelings, being redirected toward another person -- in other words, falling in love with someone else.
Right, right -- that is the paradox. To the extent that we do use monogamy as a guarantee of that, we may blow the occasional infidelity out of proportion. We end up saying, "Oh my god, this is a threat to the relationship," when in fact it might not have meant anything.'

Whether it's a difference between lusting for another and feeling emotion for another, on separate occasions or at the same time; I think monogamy needs to take a little more re-education itself. Why are we fulfilling it, is it really what we want? I still believe that most people go along with that flow of life because it is what they know, forgetting their own rules and opportunities which are available to be made.

Dating Death

When you hear your mother tell you she 'is not scared about dying', you would think that initial reactions lead to one feeling sad and afraid. Though hearing those words act more like a comfort in knowing levels of acceptance have occurred. My concern lies with whether (this applies to all of us to) if we accept death and become unafraid, are we then making the most of the life we have? In the process of accepting death, is it right to say we could comfortably accept our outcome if we are satisfied in the continuous process in developing our lives?

Life is based around pleasure (and the opposite being fear); if we simplify and look at daily occurrences perhaps most would recognise if we went back to basics (in a scavenging for ourselves kind) our priorities would change. Factors in which we fuss about may be reflected on and challenged in a good sense. What really does make us happy? Come to think of it, life is simple-we only make it complicated for ourselves in wanting more and living in fear of our desires becoming unattainable.

If death has become more imminent for you than expected; it's blogs such as 'Alices' Bucket List' I think highlights the sheer importance of living and our priorities. The fact that David Cameron wishes to do his best to complete her list before she dies is a marvellous anticipation of life. I hope the rest of the world recognises if we knew we didn't have long as we thought, much less hesitance would occur in holding ourselves back. I would hope everyone experience all they wish for too.

It's moments like these, hearing about people out there with illness or disabilities or anything which hinders their way of living to the norm which most of us are lucky to have; prioritising takes place. If something isn't quite right then do something about it. If it means analysing and taking a step back from things then go for it. Priority is to enjoy your life. I think taking a step back may take two outcomes; you may not be as concerned about particular things in your life anymore, or you become more hands on and sort out the particulars you doubt.

We all have our own mental check list of what makes us happy, what we want to achieve and lifestyles we want to have and enjoy in the future. Life is a chase for all of our self achievements to be fulfilled; so when life's end is more imminent for some, or if living as a torturous being to self exists
 (so living may not even feel quite like life anymore) what really means something to you shines out more. Imagine once it's gone, you may want to make the most of it now.

A relationship with entrapment

Personally, I don't quite understand when people are together yet when asked about the relationship-they don't seem happy! Frustration lies in how long can you keep something up if you aren't happy? I wonder whether it is a question of love, its strength gives you the will to stay with someone in hope it will get better; however is the other side a fear of going into a new unknown which keeps people in the same position?

Perhaps there is too much fear in making the decision and not wanting to realise you have made a mistake. Though wouldn't that only enhance the love? Sure there is a question of too little too late, but if the unhappiness without someone overwhelms our stubborn nature in being rejected... I think we are all aware of the better alternative than being without.

However, for those who really aren't happy and end their current relationship; wouldn't it be good to instigate a bit of confidence in them knowing their decision is right, because it felt like the right thing to do and that it is ok to be interested in other people?! Sometimes it can be a case of not wanting to commit, yet if you can be upfront about how you want to live; if someone is interested in you enough I am sure they would like to adapt to your decisions as well.

We meet people for a reason, one can only learn.

Crying about Cancer

Mary Elizabeth Williams shares her story with coping with heartbreaking experiences, yet trying to remain the strong mother all at the same time.

'In less than a year, my daughters have experienced a lifetime of fears and anxieties and griefs. But they also witnessed a stunning outpouring of kindness and compassion, and have experienced so many moments of pure, radiant grace. Because of everything that's gone down, in profound new ways, we all love each other more deeply. We hold each other more tightly. And though my daughters know now, in a way I wish they didn't have to, that the world can be scary sometimes and that moms and dads cry too, I hope they've learned also that tears themselves are nothing to be afraid of. They just mean we're feeling our feelings.'

Writing for love

Some good words about writing for those we feel for. The last paragraph greatly represents the feeling I too hold when I think about writing and what it provides for me. Some day I also aspire to have a career more involved with one of my most important passions:

'And here I can mention that there is nothing like writing for those you love. Building something out of words, an intensely personal medium – something for someone you respect, someone for whom you care – that's both a pleasure and a properly testing exercise. I have long argued that the writer's relationship with the putative reader should probably be one of loving respect: it's a way of maintaining a correct form of address. Having a literal someone out there for whom you would like to do more than your best, someone to please, can be helpful...

If you've ever tried writing for a lover, that can be intoxicating and wonderful, but it can also lead you into self-indulgence and, should the relationship founder, your deathless lines may end up all over the kitchen wall. Still, if you want to have a go ... well, I wouldn't be able to stop you. Writing from love and for love – love of the words, love of your species, love of specific joys – that's a fine remedy for ills.

And it's a reminder – Dum-dah-dum, da dah-dum dah-dum – of a deep pleasure in being a writer: the permanent music it provides. Sometimes having the benefit of a free head full of words offers as clear and complex a melody as any track I'll ever play to cheer me. Sometimes the words are background noise, sometimes they can feel like being a kid again and simply happy, sometimes they're an excuse for nearly dancing on a railway platform, sometimes I get paid for trying to put them down on paper, sometimes they'll end up in a letter with a readership of one. And this is something we all have: it takes negative intervention – illness, fear, threat – to damage our music, muffle it. But it's still there, waiting, singing inside. Onwards.'

Motherhood

Some very good points to keep in mind that apply to motherhood. These are all very transferable to anybody also, for I should realise that I should not fear the future and apply it too much to the present. We all need to enjoy the moments we have now, to not fuss too much about the future as it is out of our hands. One small step to overcoming my fears I suppose. Take one day at a time...

Being Honest With Myself

I think it is time for me to be very honest with myself. Lets put all the colours aside.

I feel one very, broken girl right now. My mother, as much as we all begin to die after we age to a certain point, is dying at a rate quicker than most of us. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, type three, several years ago, it has come back to bite her in the ass in more forms than one. Lung, liver, lymph-nodes and bone. This time, it is incurable. Life for her now is more than ever before, living it to the fullest-if her body lets her that is. Energy levels are down, self-esteem low and appearance not always what it used to be. In loosing my father to suicide at the age of ten, I am sure most would understand this sort of thing is somewhat of an ordeal. I feel forever heartbroken by two things that have happened to two of the most important people in my life. One of the most painful parts, is that I just have to sit back and watch it all occur. It even feels selfish in writing these words. Because what is going on, isn't about me. It is about my mum. We have to do everything and anything to make life as best as it can be, for her. We want to do this, it is no chore. It is love.

It feels like I have based my entire life around fear. Not only am I letting this affect me, I let it affect those involved in my life as well. To take this approach to life effects how you interact with everything; some for the good and some parts for the worse. As I travel back now on a train to London I shall record my experience to what feels, like a dark angry cloud. A disgusting black cloud which was once pink fog. In hearing a relative be sick, throwing up violently because something inside of them is there and won't get out, who knows what to think anymore-every day one knows it represents a countdown. How many years, months, days are left for my mum. I don't think she will appreciate me writing this, because it will make her feel exposed. To this day I am personally beyond hiding from the truth. I feel like this week for me has been a steady development in targeting this. It is time to get things sorted. Although we are all dying anyways; and whether mum has five years to live-anyone of us could die in that time whether it's a car crash, anything. Its time to get the message out there, because 'being' in this world is tough when you face such things as the above to contend with. In opening up you don't want anybody to treat you any differently, you don't want the looks of concern, you don't want the words of support. It feels like a weakness for you. I think in writing this, as weak as I may feel I suggest it is an act of admission. I think I need all the support I can get. For it is other people that remind me to go on, to 'just keep swimming' or power through. To stay positive and to live my life, not just for me but for my mum and dad too. If anyone wishes to call me a sympathy seeker, so be it. I am far from caring what other people think these days about me. Their opinion means nothing compared to what really matters: family, friends, love, experiences, living.

Cancer feels like an eternal torture, because when it comes once who knows when it will visit again. Once it comes a second time around you know it is bad news, Its like loosing a battle you thought you had won. Health, is one of my biggest fears of all. You can see why, once you think it is all over before you know it health issues only become worse. I have no patience for it what so ever. I hate doctors, I don't trust them. They fobbed off my mum last Christmas when she complained about chest pains, extreme coughing which lasted for months. Given her history you would have thought she would have been put on immediate checks with a chest x-ray. Nope. 'here is an inhaler, see how you feel after two weeks…' and then she becomes ploughed with empty antibiotics. Doctors sicken me. I understand yes, they see many people everyday and it is a battle with money as well. But when there is clear health history staring them in the face, I find little excuse necessary-it is too late now. With sex, Doctors preach 'its better to be safe than sorry'. Again they become hypocrites to their own philosophy.

I think my brother hides away. To be honest, I don't even know if he knows it is ok to feel any sort of emotion. Dad died when he was 8 years old. It took until his teens for him to silence his boy charm. I don't have conversations with my brother, just single words. Whether he is completely numbed by all experience I don't know, I think perhaps he chooses to not talk as he is either completely laid back, and just doesn't give a damn. Or, he is completely stunted by everything and finds it hard to feel any sort of vulnerable emotion. Most people don't like to display this anyway. We are all weak and vulnerable; only now am I beginning to understand that showing this isn't weakness, it is just being. It's ugly beautiful life! Though, I wonder whether he doesn't contact or visit family to avoid truths. To avoid the pain in seeing mother ill. To avoid realising that as much as we both have grown impatient to pain, and wanting to live as ourselves doing what we want to do because impatience has grown to putting up with anything bad, unfortunately it's just not the way this time. All day there is a reminder of what may not be in future. She walks slow, she moves slow. Some days are better than others but to not know if in 5 years to come you won't be able to grab that coffee with her like you used to, to have those random shopping days trying on sunglasses and driving in the car from another random found place in Wales with the music blaring and both women giggling at each other. Crying doesn't represent enough the pain.

It's not just about my brother either, it never just is about the kids. Mums partner, well he sees it everyday. It is worse for him. He witnesses the one he loves, crumbling bit by bit everyday. I can see their daily battles with each other and with something you can't even touch. And of course there are those connected to him too that see his pain, yet keep quiet in being sad over his pain as well. 

I know this is a miserable post. However miserable though, as much as it's worth I hope it shows to all that read it, that those things we get worked up about, those things we all fear and panic and fuss over…aren't the be all and end all. I know I am a hypocrite to these words. We are ALL hypocrites to everything. Which is why I find daily reminders massive help, because we do tend to get caught up with things. It helps to take a moment to reflect and see what really does matter. It is all about choosing what makes us happy right? And making effort to make those we love happy too.

I suppose, I am scared in feeling and dealing with all of this. I beg for myself to not let it affect everything around me all too much; job, friends, money. As much as I hate the distance between my family and I living in London, I know life over there would be even worse. My independence is doing me good. As horrible as this might sound, there is a time and a place to have selfish-selflessness. One has to love self in order to provide the best for self and those involved in selfs life. You can't give love if you don't feel it for yourself. My misery won't help others and I can't become something else that needs looking after. Other people are priority and I want to look after myself so I don't become one for them either. Everyday is about doing a little bit for self and doing a bit for others too, it shall become a balancing act. I have to work to pay bills, I can't take time off to heal a broken heart. Healing will be a part time thing I shall do in my spare time. My job is about representation, I am paid to smile. Whether I like it or not, sometimes it will be faked and others won't. It's going to be an interesting few years. I think that is the strangest part. I am so excited for life yet so broken, not only is it about balance it's about a juggling act as well. I find myself giggling in my head at the conundrum of it all. Life is all so silly. We are the ones who make it so silly after all…

Love Is What You Want

Tracey Emin:

Lyrics of the day

A chunk taken from Adele, from her words of love.

Throw your soul through every open door,
Count your blessings to find what you look for,
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold,
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown, 

Moment of appreciation

I love my mum.

D'awwwwww.

It seems to be a cancer day...again

Everything I read today, I don't know whether it is because it is something I have been affected by (I hate that phrase) but what I read seems to be linked to Cancer...

THE BIG C!

I know other words more appropriate to the big 'C' but that's a whole other conversation...

Everyday the subject of health stares us in the face, so how literal are we meant to take all of the warnings? News reports, health scares, television shows...Most films show aspects of cancer within them though few cinema releases are actually based around the topic. Sure, it never is a thrilling thing to discuss-the doom and gloom attached to it really is a put down compared to our usual jolly every day being, does there need to be a new approach to it all? I mean, everyday is about cancer but everyday is about a lot of other things as well. I know from experience that awareness is one of the most important things about cancer, what people automatically link to the illness is if i have this, I am going to die. These thoughts are fair enough though not necessarily how ends will meet. I feel there is a huge important in almost re marketing cancer, someone needs to get their ass on the PR of it all.

I know full well that if I had the disease, I wouldn't want my everyday to be focused around my 'health'. When there are people in your lives experiencing these emotions, it can feel like no escape. Even when it comes down to the people who really know you, sometimes being around those can be the worst situation. It all comes down to cancer, how you become treated-special treatment is fine but no-body wants the out of the ordinary 'service'. Whether you know the stage of what your body may hold, is it treatable or not?...everyday really is about YOU and not the others. Of course, health and illness from what you may have gathered from my past posts isn't always about one. Understandably we must consider the feelings attached to the person experiencing the cancer conventions though I think it a good idea to let them breathe. No-one wants the extra fuss, but no-one wants the extra reminder that one day, whether it be in months, a year or several that they might not be around anymore.

We all might not be around anymore. So I think it is important right now to appreciate the time we have to make together. The time we have to build. The time to say, what would you like to do today,  and the time to say, these are my plans lets fit around this.  My abbreviations may sound a little superficial, so please bear with me, but to this day I think it necessary for all of us to give time to those who need it-whether it is time by self or time with them. Time to chill. Time to feel like them again. Everyday whether we have a count down or not shouldn't feel like some race until the end. Days now should feel amazing. Days now should feel like heaven in knowing what you do that day you have chosen to do, because you bloody well can do it!

I am sure there are preventative measures to hand we all could absorb and integrate into our known selves. If they seem like a good option, choose it and make it yours. I don't think though that pushing the idea to one experiencing the big C  is always a very good idea. Once cancer enters our lives I think a fear of clinging onto our independence becomes discovered. From a previous link, role reversals change and you see that the one who was, your rock I suppose, or the one who began to show you world becomes slowly taken away from you, it's heartbreaking yes but we have to still let them be them. We can't cushion them. How we would like it if we were treated like a baby? Because it seems that is what it feels like most of the time. Spoon fed explicities which don't do the person any justice. They need to maintain their human self and reduce their vegetable factor. Once someone holds an illness they still have a life. I think most forget we all could die tomorrow, whether that be a crash, an overdose, a stabbing-anything. We should count ourselves lucky and live our days for us, for another, for them. I think anyone who is affected by cancer wishes to do so too.

There's been a little slog.

So no blog for quite a few days. I suppose I felt no urge to write, in risk of exhausting the point. But of course, If you don't write, the point will never come across. I had little to write except which has already been said. I believe there is no need to force things if it just doesn't feel right. Lets enlighten and share what is already out there for us to discover, and add to it ourselves.

This article is the best piece I have read today so far, and the below quote made my day:

'At 21, you can be single even if you are having a relationship with someone. You don't have to decide right away that this is an exclusive relationship...Be honest with each other. Be frank. Share what you are afraid to share. Be fearless. It's your future. It's your world.'

We all make choices. Deep down we know what we want, and don't want most of the time. We should avoid getting ourselves into vulnerable positions where we feel our happiness is jeopardised for somebody else's. If you are honest with yourself and with the people involved in your life, who knows, you may achieve the lifestyle you desire and be able to involve those you find interesting too. If you really don't want to do something, then don't. So many of us feel guilt towards our behaviour, our desires- though most of the time the way we behave feels the norm to us-it becomes our instant instinct.

Quite regularly people rely on another persons response to justify their feelings, behaviour, responses to everyday situations. As if another persons opinion should even matter?! We behave how we do because it feels right to us. Of course we know what's regarded as right and wrong. I always say, unless it comes across with an intention to hurt someone, then you aren't wrong for feeling and behaving how you do. It's making the most out of those emotions with a positive reflection-learn from them.

A conversation, piece of writing, even a sentence or a few key words can infuse you with encouragement.

Savour

Embrace

Flourish