'OK. Here are a couple of my thoughts. When you say, "I'm 32, married, educated and employed," I do not think to myself, wow, that person sounds happy. I think, wow, that sounds dull. There is no joy in the sentence. It sounds, frankly, like depression. It sounds like the airless, pleasureless realm of anhedonia.
I hear sadness. I hear a silenced self. I wonder who that silenced person is. It may be an athlete. It may be an artist. Perhaps there is some striving, messy, error-prone genius in you that is not being heard. Perhaps this genius is angry at you because she's not being heard.
You say, "On the surface, everything looks great."
A lovely surface is a tragedy. If there is no ugliness on the surface, the the ugliness must be underneath, eating away at us. There is always ugliness. It's got to be somewhere.
Here's the other thing. You say that you're OK feeling like there might be a thousand tiny reasons that all combine to make you depressed. Likewise, a person who is relatively happy may have a thousand tiny sources of happiness. Throughout the day, a person has moments of pleasure. You learn to have these things that get you through. Maybe it is a raisin bran muffin bought from the sliding window of Specialties at Montgomery and Market streets in San Francisco. It tastes good, doesn't it? Maybe it is the heat on your chilly hands of a medium-size paper cup of drip coffee bought with the muffin and carried into the street. Maybe it is seeing the security guard behind the desk in the lobby of your building, the clack of your heels on the stone floor, shifting your bag with the muffin in it to your left hand and pressing the round button for the 27th floor and seeing it light up.
Maybe it is a song on the radio as you are driving to work. Maybe it is something you have on.
There have got to be moments in your life that give you pleasure and you have got to pay attention to them.
I think you have made a great beginning by writing this letter. You have begun a journey of self-discovery that will be years unfolding.
And so it begins. Good luck. Don't take hazy, noncommittal half-truths for answers. This is your life. You deserve to know. That's the only way you will come alive again.'
http://www.salon.com/life/since_you_asked/2011/02/23/anhedonia_and_depression
Monday, 28 February 2011
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Being and enlightenment
It's refreshing to read someone else gets it too.
'When you're in the presence of such a person, no verbal exchange is necessary to know who you are dealing with. Such people can serve in monasteries or stock markets, run corporations or run for office, walk the desert or walk to work. They have the ability to see things as they really are, to accept what is and remain open to all of life. This is done not out of naiveté or denial, but out of profound understanding of how life really works.'http://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-dern/enlightenment_b_825365.html
'When you're in the presence of such a person, no verbal exchange is necessary to know who you are dealing with. Such people can serve in monasteries or stock markets, run corporations or run for office, walk the desert or walk to work. They have the ability to see things as they really are, to accept what is and remain open to all of life. This is done not out of naiveté or denial, but out of profound understanding of how life really works.'http://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-dern/enlightenment_b_825365.html
Give everyone a hug, and one for yourself too
Where does it all stem from?
It's a good question I ask myself everyday about anyone (including myself) and their reaction to things. The picture represents a playing field with different shaped obstacles to avoid. But should we really be avoiding them or just embracing them instead?
Everything always leads to a source, the breakdown to find that source as difficult as that may be should equate to a pleasurable outcome. It opens doors to tap into emotions and to treat our surrounding environment in a new way, which in effect reaches new elements of happiness.
The battle to emotionally survive can seem like a wise move. Of course It's always a hindrance to feel sad, to feel annoyed, angry, rejected, scared, vulnerable, embarrassed (and many other 'negative' feelings'... But once the doors to those emotions have opened, it only prepares you for a wider range of being with how you feel-those of which bring a more positive effect to your life.
Happiness. Warmth. Love. Affection. Excitement. Passion. Desire.
The desire to share with others around you, but really share and express who you are. Do not be afraid, I would say that once these potential guards are down, you can surprise yourself in how you treat other people. How you enjoy your time together more, not in the sense that you never did before, I would say it makes you appreciate that time much more so.
Everyday you will feel luckier and more blessed that you have such a great take on life. And others will recognise your healthy attitude too. It will flow into them and produce a great positive effect to their day as well. People like to know where they stand. Lets try not to push them over with our own unbalance of being. I suppose it's putting yourself out there with no fear in being exposed.
Is there really a negative in being exposed though? We should sense no threat in how people react to us, let us be and skip in a flourish of living. Acceptance is always desired, but if there is a case where we don't become embraced, ask yourself whether you wish for them to be a part of your life too? Sometimes we just don't click with others. For one to judge us and hold it against us is only because it challenges and confuses what they already know... If you were to die tomorrow, you just wouldn't care.
Breathe, exhale and laugh. And give those around you a hug, because all we want to know really, is that all will be OK.
It's a good question I ask myself everyday about anyone (including myself) and their reaction to things. The picture represents a playing field with different shaped obstacles to avoid. But should we really be avoiding them or just embracing them instead?
Everything always leads to a source, the breakdown to find that source as difficult as that may be should equate to a pleasurable outcome. It opens doors to tap into emotions and to treat our surrounding environment in a new way, which in effect reaches new elements of happiness.
The battle to emotionally survive can seem like a wise move. Of course It's always a hindrance to feel sad, to feel annoyed, angry, rejected, scared, vulnerable, embarrassed (and many other 'negative' feelings'... But once the doors to those emotions have opened, it only prepares you for a wider range of being with how you feel-those of which bring a more positive effect to your life.
Happiness. Warmth. Love. Affection. Excitement. Passion. Desire.
The desire to share with others around you, but really share and express who you are. Do not be afraid, I would say that once these potential guards are down, you can surprise yourself in how you treat other people. How you enjoy your time together more, not in the sense that you never did before, I would say it makes you appreciate that time much more so.
Everyday you will feel luckier and more blessed that you have such a great take on life. And others will recognise your healthy attitude too. It will flow into them and produce a great positive effect to their day as well. People like to know where they stand. Lets try not to push them over with our own unbalance of being. I suppose it's putting yourself out there with no fear in being exposed.
Is there really a negative in being exposed though? We should sense no threat in how people react to us, let us be and skip in a flourish of living. Acceptance is always desired, but if there is a case where we don't become embraced, ask yourself whether you wish for them to be a part of your life too? Sometimes we just don't click with others. For one to judge us and hold it against us is only because it challenges and confuses what they already know... If you were to die tomorrow, you just wouldn't care.
Breathe, exhale and laugh. And give those around you a hug, because all we want to know really, is that all will be OK.
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
The day of age
'At the village party, adults danced with children. Teenagers danced with adults. Young adults danced with elders -- all with an ease of interaction. In America, social activity has sadly become more age-segregated.
The idea of 60-somethings partying with 20-somethings on New Year's Eve has become rare.
In our society, people of different generations certainly don't ignore one another, but they seem to increasingly live in different universes. You could blame technology. Younger generations seem more at ease with the social use of technology. But that would be simplistic. A more likely explanation for increasing age-segregation in the U.S. and Europe may derive from our more individualistic tendencies. We are encouraged to be competitive and strive for individual success and tenaciously pursue our goals, which means that individual desire often shapes the texture of our lives. We move away from home, lose contact with our kin, and often focus our social time on our friends. Such a process leads to age-segregation in which like-minded people talk about like-minded things.
Witnessing how people of all ages are integrated into Vilcabamba social activities made me realize that age-segregation limits our experience and impoverishes our lives. I regret that as a young man I didn't really want to hear my 90 year-old grandfather talk about his escape from Belarus in 1916 or how he struggled to come to America and begin a family. I could have learned so much from him, but I chose to hang out with my friends instead. In a less age-segregated society, I might I have learned a great deal about our family -- about life. My New Year's wish is that more people might experience the wonders of age-integration so that their lives might be enriched by the knowledge of our elders and the wisdom of our ancestors.'
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-stoller/celebrating-the-old-and-n_b_803911.html
The idea of 60-somethings partying with 20-somethings on New Year's Eve has become rare.
In our society, people of different generations certainly don't ignore one another, but they seem to increasingly live in different universes. You could blame technology. Younger generations seem more at ease with the social use of technology. But that would be simplistic. A more likely explanation for increasing age-segregation in the U.S. and Europe may derive from our more individualistic tendencies. We are encouraged to be competitive and strive for individual success and tenaciously pursue our goals, which means that individual desire often shapes the texture of our lives. We move away from home, lose contact with our kin, and often focus our social time on our friends. Such a process leads to age-segregation in which like-minded people talk about like-minded things.
Witnessing how people of all ages are integrated into Vilcabamba social activities made me realize that age-segregation limits our experience and impoverishes our lives. I regret that as a young man I didn't really want to hear my 90 year-old grandfather talk about his escape from Belarus in 1916 or how he struggled to come to America and begin a family. I could have learned so much from him, but I chose to hang out with my friends instead. In a less age-segregated society, I might I have learned a great deal about our family -- about life. My New Year's wish is that more people might experience the wonders of age-integration so that their lives might be enriched by the knowledge of our elders and the wisdom of our ancestors.'
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-stoller/celebrating-the-old-and-n_b_803911.html
Age, what age?...
Ironic to a discussion with a colleague today, this article came about upon the discussion of age.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12523624
We were both noting how nice it was to see and know a guy who must be in his late 30s/mid 40s to have such a great personality and spark. My friend noted 'it's nice to see someone of his age, act young'. Though knowing my friends good intentions with his words, I had to disagree with the statement. I thought it best to re-phrase that it wasn't great seeing him act 'young', but to see that he shows his spirit and energy still. We shouldn't assume people to be what we stereotype as 'older', it's a slight shame we are taken back by character and personality for those we know are older than us. It should not be a sign to behave differently with them, to treat them differently or to expect less. It also shouldn't be indication to expect more. I truely believe wisdom does not come with age. If we believe ourselves old then we are old. It is what we do with ourself which makes us alive and well.
We have to realise, if we catagorise ourselves and set a design for us to be, it can hold restrictions as well as opening doors.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12523624
We were both noting how nice it was to see and know a guy who must be in his late 30s/mid 40s to have such a great personality and spark. My friend noted 'it's nice to see someone of his age, act young'. Though knowing my friends good intentions with his words, I had to disagree with the statement. I thought it best to re-phrase that it wasn't great seeing him act 'young', but to see that he shows his spirit and energy still. We shouldn't assume people to be what we stereotype as 'older', it's a slight shame we are taken back by character and personality for those we know are older than us. It should not be a sign to behave differently with them, to treat them differently or to expect less. It also shouldn't be indication to expect more. I truely believe wisdom does not come with age. If we believe ourselves old then we are old. It is what we do with ourself which makes us alive and well.
We have to realise, if we catagorise ourselves and set a design for us to be, it can hold restrictions as well as opening doors.
RANT
Really, just really, are we blaming Facebook for letting us have TOO MANY FRIENDS!?
"You are almost a mini celebrity and the bigger the audience the more pressure you feel to produce something about yourself." http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-12479660
Seriously? People put pressure on themselves for something so insignificant in their lives?!
There really needs to be a balance!
There was life before this you know!?
Sure there are other people, but YOU came first.
"You are almost a mini celebrity and the bigger the audience the more pressure you feel to produce something about yourself." http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-12479660
Seriously? People put pressure on themselves for something so insignificant in their lives?!
There really needs to be a balance!
There was life before this you know!?
Sure there are other people, but YOU came first.
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
The old becomes the present
And it shocks surprises and excites.
I think, I know, I trust. It's all that can be. Smile and let how you used to feel, go...and it shall become something or a moment in time.
One can only test and try a lifestyle. And see where it all fits in, if they allow.
I think, I know, I trust. It's all that can be. Smile and let how you used to feel, go...and it shall become something or a moment in time.
One can only test and try a lifestyle. And see where it all fits in, if they allow.
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